Does my lean physique make you feel fat?

There’s no doubt our loved ones would say they want for us to be healthy and well, but why is it that eating and getting “too healthy” is often not as supported? It’s ironic that sometimes there is a small handful of people closest to us that oppose our exceptional physiques and the lifestyle habits that have helped us attain and maintain it.

If you are that friend or family member, ask yourself why is it that you admire an exceptional athlete from afar, but are not comfortable with your friend aspiring to be that? Often people are supportive as their loved one is getting fitter, losing a little weight, but there’s a line that is crossed when he/she becomes very fit and lean. Likewise, why is it that the lady who needs to lose 30-40+ lbs, is supported by those closest to her in her desire to shed the weight; yet the lady who is 10-15 lbs overweight, doesn’t feel her best and desires to shed it, is not supported and furthermore often criticized by her friends for being “unrealistic”, or being too hard on herself?

When and why did desiring to be your optimal best become a bad thing? Would we have concern for a loved one who desires to attain a PhD, and be of the opinion that they should just be content with a masters degree? When it comes to the physical body, the resistance from loved-ones often comes in the disguise of “concern”. I say disguise because I believe it to be just that.

Unfortunately, sometimes there are very real health concerns with overtraining and extreme dieting. As far as the sport of bodybuilding is concerned, traditionally it has been quite extreme. Sadly this continues still somewhat, and as such I appreciate that much of the negativity toward the sport is due to this sad reality. However, thankfully this is changing more and more all the time. Competitors are becoming aware of holistic well-being and overall good health. More coaches are training their athletes to be less extreme and more consistent with simple clean-living.

There are drug-free natural organizations that strictly uphold a zero-tolerance policy. I compete in such an organization and I’m most proud that I’m one of those athletes who stays within 5-8 lbs whether off-season or on stage, that I typically never go more than a week without indulging in my favorite beloved sweets, and that I don’t do cardio hours each day! I have wonderful balance in my life, I feel optimal and rarely ever get sick, I sleep well and have the energy of someone half my age. And yes, I am exceptionally lean and muscular.

 

To have others insinuate that I must have an eating disorder or that I’m too obsessed is offensive and insulting. Consider this: would you ever say to a friend, family member or co-worker “Sally, it looks like you’ve put on some weight, you’re looking a little too chunky”. Not likely (unless that person was severely overweight and you were very close to them). Yet I think every fitness and bodybuilder competitor has at some point received criticism that they are getting too thin, not eating enough, or are spending too much time in the gym. I too have experienced the odd friend who clearly takes issue with my training and lifestyle, criticizes and mocks, or has expressed “concerns” for my well-being. Very often these concerns are nothing more than one’s own insecurities in oneself.

If you are having trouble accepting what your friend or family member is doing, before judging or commenting to or about her, ask yourself honestly what the issue is. Be honest and don’t hide behind the “I’m concerned about you” mask. Before becoming alarmed, ask questions about her diet and training. Perhaps you are jumping to conclusions that she must be starving or training several hours each day to result in looking so good.

You might be surprised to learn that she is spending less time in the gym each week than you do on your favorite activity (golfing, running, bowling, knitting, whatever it may be). You might be surprised to learn that she consumes more daily calories than you do, and that she doesn’t deny herself of her favorite treats occasionally. Despite the stereotypes and misconceptions, it is possible to attain optimal health and a svelte physique with consistent, correct training and proper fueling of the body.

Is she any more “underweight” than you may be “overweight”? And if you’d be offended by comments of such, why is it acceptable to comment to or about her? Is it coming from a place of personal insecurity? Are her healthy habits causing you to look at your own “unhealthy” habits? Do you feel inadequate or unhappy with yourself? To be blunt, does her lean physique make you feel fat?

Perhaps it is coming from a place of bitterness toward her sport, because it’s taken away your friend as you once knew her? As a competitor, I can say with complete certainly that she misses you too! She would love to get together over coffee or a walk around the mall and is saddened that it seems your friendship is conditional to consumption of alcohol or food.

If she is criticizing your lifestyle and you feel insulted or judged, speak to her about it. She may be so excited and thrilled about how vibrant she feels as a result of what she is doing that she’s not realizing how her comments may make others feel.

As for you, the athlete, the competitor, the guy or gal who desires to shed 10 lbs or 50 lbs, increase your energy or whatever your physical goals are – don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty for desiring to be your physical best. If good enough is not good enough for you, and you desire exceptional, that is to be commended – not ridiculed. Go forth and be your best!